ADHD irony is...
...a messy pile of books with titles like "How to Get Organized," "Don't let ADHD Ruin Your Life," "Organization For People With ADHD," "Get Clutter Out of Your Life," and "Control the Chaos and Unclutter Your Life" sitting forgotten in the dust on the floor with some unopened bills.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Friday, January 25, 2008
Taking ADHD fallout seriously
ADHD isn't a joke.
The anecdotes you read about people with ADHD --and I'm guilty of writing some here in this blog-- can sound harmless and almost endearing. Cars keys left in the microwave? Went to work in your slippers? Almost kinda cute. Big deal! No one is perfect!!
The truth can be less charming.
Working or living with people who suffer from ADHD can have serious consequences; "fallout" in the way of extra risk, extra work, frustration and even danger.
Months of lost or unopened mail or unpaid bills can equal ruined credit and the inability to buy a family home. Worse, it might lose you the home you have. And your car. Distracted drivers fiddling with phones and music are dangerous, but the same careless driver with the lack of focus the comes with ADHD can easily kill someone. Forgetting to set the alarm at work can result in tragic losses, not least of them your job. Locking your keys, and your toddler, in your car on a cold winter night is not funny. Candles and ovens and heaters left on and unattended can burn down your house and even kill your family. Careers and reputations can be ruined because of a forgotten appointment or some form or application not completed.
Even if you manage to keep a co-worker or employee or family member with ADHA from ruin through constant vigilance, consider the price of such vigilance. Do you have the resources necessary to --in effect-- "babysit" this person? How much of your life are you going to give up in order to take on that extra responsibility?
That doesn't mean that people with ADHD are "bad." Not at all. Everyone and everything in life has benefits and problems, everyone has faults as well as skills.
Every choice creates consequences.
Make your own decisions. But do it with your eyes open.
Don't ignore the "fallout" from ADHD. Don't minimize it.
The anecdotes you read about people with ADHD --and I'm guilty of writing some here in this blog-- can sound harmless and almost endearing. Cars keys left in the microwave? Went to work in your slippers? Almost kinda cute. Big deal! No one is perfect!!
The truth can be less charming.
Working or living with people who suffer from ADHD can have serious consequences; "fallout" in the way of extra risk, extra work, frustration and even danger.
Months of lost or unopened mail or unpaid bills can equal ruined credit and the inability to buy a family home. Worse, it might lose you the home you have. And your car. Distracted drivers fiddling with phones and music are dangerous, but the same careless driver with the lack of focus the comes with ADHD can easily kill someone. Forgetting to set the alarm at work can result in tragic losses, not least of them your job. Locking your keys, and your toddler, in your car on a cold winter night is not funny. Candles and ovens and heaters left on and unattended can burn down your house and even kill your family. Careers and reputations can be ruined because of a forgotten appointment or some form or application not completed.
Even if you manage to keep a co-worker or employee or family member with ADHA from ruin through constant vigilance, consider the price of such vigilance. Do you have the resources necessary to --in effect-- "babysit" this person? How much of your life are you going to give up in order to take on that extra responsibility?
That doesn't mean that people with ADHD are "bad." Not at all. Everyone and everything in life has benefits and problems, everyone has faults as well as skills.
Every choice creates consequences.
Make your own decisions. But do it with your eyes open.
Don't ignore the "fallout" from ADHD. Don't minimize it.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Is ADHD "contagious?"
Ok. Obviously it isn't. ADHD is not a virus
But sometimes it seems that way. If you have someone in your life with ADHD you understand what an astounding drain on your energy and resources it can be. Searching for keys, bills and remotes. Following behind them to make sure they haven't left an oven full of food on at 500 degrees or wandered off with an important call left on hold or with the faucet running full blast. Like the old saying about teaching: it can seem to be more work to monitor a person with ADHD that it would be just to do all the stuff yourself.
That said, I've noticed an effect I call [only half joking] "catching ADHD."
Spend much time around someone with ADHD, using up your own resources trying to follow their tangential conversations or helping them find their parked car or lost cell phone and pretty soon you start getting distracted and confused. If you live with someone who considers every horizontal service a storage area, after a while you start dropping things in an easy pile out of exhaustion and desperation.
That distracted, confused, exhausted and desperate condition is what I call "catching ADHD."
Ever happen to you?
But sometimes it seems that way. If you have someone in your life with ADHD you understand what an astounding drain on your energy and resources it can be. Searching for keys, bills and remotes. Following behind them to make sure they haven't left an oven full of food on at 500 degrees or wandered off with an important call left on hold or with the faucet running full blast. Like the old saying about teaching: it can seem to be more work to monitor a person with ADHD that it would be just to do all the stuff yourself.
That said, I've noticed an effect I call [only half joking] "catching ADHD."
Spend much time around someone with ADHD, using up your own resources trying to follow their tangential conversations or helping them find their parked car or lost cell phone and pretty soon you start getting distracted and confused. If you live with someone who considers every horizontal service a storage area, after a while you start dropping things in an easy pile out of exhaustion and desperation.
That distracted, confused, exhausted and desperate condition is what I call "catching ADHD."
Ever happen to you?
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Explanations v Excuses and ADHD
The most frustrating aspect of ADHD for those of us who don't have it might be when ADHD it is used as an excuse [which it ain't] for chaotic, disruptive and dangerous behavior that causes problems and burdens for others, rather than just an explanation for the behavior [which it is].
If you habitually leave your keys in the family or office microwave, and you don't have ADHD, someone might be forgiven to assume you are a bit daft or maybe very inconsiderate. If that person finds out you have ADHD, now they understand. You are not daft. You are not inconsiderate. Your diagnosis of ADHD is an explanation that allows understanding and might even suggest some solutions.
But that does not mean it is ok for you to keep leaving your keys in the microwave for the duration. The diagnosis is not an excuse.
It is still up to you to figure out some course of action to keep your keys out of the microwave in the future. The ADHD is not an excuse.
If you habitually leave your keys in the family or office microwave, and you don't have ADHD, someone might be forgiven to assume you are a bit daft or maybe very inconsiderate. If that person finds out you have ADHD, now they understand. You are not daft. You are not inconsiderate. Your diagnosis of ADHD is an explanation that allows understanding and might even suggest some solutions.
But that does not mean it is ok for you to keep leaving your keys in the microwave for the duration. The diagnosis is not an excuse.
It is still up to you to figure out some course of action to keep your keys out of the microwave in the future. The ADHD is not an excuse.
Why "Sick of ADHD?"
Anyone who has had to deal with ADHD is sick of it.
If you are reading this, then you have no doubt read hundreds of pages of books and Websites and blogs written about the many ways those who suffer from ADHD are suffering and coping and trying and still getting the short and unsanitary end of the stick.
There is little doubt people with ADHD are sick of it.
But this blog isn't about them. This blog is about us, people who don't have ADHD, but who have to deal with it on a regular basis. It is for family members, educators, counselors, neighbors, co-workers and classmates of those with ADHD.
Trust me. Those of us who do not have ADHD are very, very sick of it too.
If you are reading this, then you have no doubt read hundreds of pages of books and Websites and blogs written about the many ways those who suffer from ADHD are suffering and coping and trying and still getting the short and unsanitary end of the stick.
There is little doubt people with ADHD are sick of it.
But this blog isn't about them. This blog is about us, people who don't have ADHD, but who have to deal with it on a regular basis. It is for family members, educators, counselors, neighbors, co-workers and classmates of those with ADHD.
Trust me. Those of us who do not have ADHD are very, very sick of it too.
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